Love is
by HedaBear
Summary: Wanheda and Heda, the worlds super powers, have yet to conquer their own relationship after their victory of the mountain. Can Clarke keep up with the secrecy or will Lexa bend and change her thoughts on Love is Weakness? (Lexa stays after the battle, they both win, AS THEY SHOULD BE) Authors note: To my ex-girlfriend, f you!


Hey everyone! I'm recently out of a relationship, 2 and a half years, she left me and I found out she was cheating on me… Haha, I met her on fanfiction of all places too xD SO I'm sorry if this may reflect my own relationship. This show was too freakishly close to my own story I write and who I am and how I always wanted my girlfriend to be, which she was, well ex now~ Ladies I'm free! -waving my LGBTQA flag- I cosplay, watch anime, and I'm a big bear! (Love hugs~ And kisses but hugs are soooo much better. Same with cuddling~~~~) So enjoy and sorry if they seem OOC or anything. My story!

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Ton DC, the center of a rebuilt of lives and a new alliance. The people of Ton DC, proud of both their efforts and results had defeated the maumon. Their leaders, Clarke kom Skaikru and Heda had planned a strong and smart diversion. If the maumon offered an alliance, to take it and take secret route underground into the Mountain while the remaining clan was left as the main force. IT was brilliant. It worked so well that the Trikru were more amazed at the Skaikru then themselves as the Skaikru not only took down the maumon but were able to save those maumon who helped them without harming them.

Clarke woke up, snuggled deeply inside of the fur blankets. She had only just entered them hours before, having sneaked out of the Heda's tent. For the past few months, Clarke of the Sky people had stayed with the Grounders. After two months, Abby and Clarke's leadership positions had clashed. Abby had found out that Lexa and Clarke were seeing each other quietly and Abby refused that Clarke leave Arkadia. Clarke had left and since then a rift had formed between her and Abby. Lexa was pleased to have her secret lover closer than ever, every night either talking, eating together, learning to fight, or just holding the other in their arms.

Clarke was slowly warming up to Lexa, neither afraid to ask the other to go to the next level but Clarke still felt like the outsider, having to act as only the leader outside of their tents and having to hide, something most people in the Ark didn't have to do. Clarke was used to relationships being publicly made. Even if it was secretive, people respected the others and it was still known through rumors and whispers, shrouded by the creaks of the metal space craft and the air ducts.

Clarke knew that the only reason Lexa refused to publicly come out about them was more than just that love is weakness, but that Clarke would end up as Costia. Many of the other clan leaders praised Clarke, acknowledging her as leader of Skaikru, and many had even suggested of a deeper alliance formed with one of the clans to further ties and strengthen the coalition. Clarke refused softly, smiling, and explaining that she would always be loyal to Heda and the 12 clans. Soon to be 13 if Abby relinquished her title and accepted Clarke as their leader in all ways.

Clarke closed her eyes for a few more minutes, soaking in the last of her sleep before being woken up by two of Lexa's handmaidens, Fay and Tige. Besides Octavia who followed her from the Ark as her guard, these two were the only ones to know about the secret relationship. They had hidden Clarke many times if a guard were to come in when Lexa and Clarke were sleeping or cuddling, even kissing. It would have embarrassed any other but Clarke really wanted to be public, she wanted to show that love was strength, a concept that her love couldn't wrap her head around,

The handmaidens took out clothes for her, having taken a bath before meeting Lexa last night was enough reason to not force or make her Fay run out and get a tub and hot water. She wore traditional grounder clothes, tight jeans, and boots. However, she still wore her Ark shirts and iconic jacket, putting her gun holster to her side and Heda's knife, a symbol to show that Clarke was protected under the Heda's rule.

As she stepped outside the tent, she could see that there was Bellamy, sitting on a log that was put there for him. He was staring at the ground, probably having waited there a long time for her to wake up, which she could tell because the guards would usually wait by for the first few hours before leaving the messenger alone. Bellamy noticed Clarke and stood up, smiling, "Hey there Princess."

"Nice to see you Bellamy. Did they bring you something to eat?" Clarke asked, smiling, and hugging her friend. In the last few months, the world has flipped upside down. Bellamy was one of her loudest supporters in Arkadia, and she hasn't seen him since she left.

"Yes, one of them offered me food. We really need to learn grounder weapons. The animals being shot taste different."

"It's all in the kill Bell. What are you here for besides saying hello?"

"Abby stepped down as Chancellor. The people are calling for you to be our leader. Abby recognizes this and that you won't be at Arkadia a lot of the time and had offered Marcus to be your Second so that he can lead. He's been beside me the whole time Clark."

Clarke nodded, smiling, hugging her friend tightly, "That's amazing Bell. And they'll accept Grounders inside the camp?"

"Already have. One of the Mountain survivors, Echo, even joined us. She's…amazing. Just wait until you meet her Clarke."

"I'm sure. Did someone finally settle down?"

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"Clarke smirked but was immediately lifted by the man, who was smiling at the girl in front of him. The two had changed but when Clarke left, she was but a sad, angry shell, but now he had Clarke back, but a new side. One he was proud to call a friend.

Clarke laughed and soon the two were greeted with Tige, who bowed softly, "Wanheda, Heda wishes to speak with you."

"Of course. I'll be back at Arkadia soon Bell. Can you go back and tell everyone I'll be back tomorrow or the next day at the latest?"

"Of course…Wanheda," at the last bit, Bellamy smirked, bowing like the Grounders did. Clarke laughed and hit Bellamy playfully before following Tige, though more like Clarke walked alone, to Heda's tent.

The moment she entered the tent, she realized something was wrong. The tent was a mess. The usually cool and organized Heda had everything dismantled. The table was flipped over, glass broken. Weapons thrown all over the place, knives imbedded into posts. The fire lay unattended, even catching fire a blanket that was thrown, though not dangerous of burning the whole place down. The throne looked untouched, like a force field had blocked all the carnage. Sitting on the throne was Lexa, who held her head in her hands.

Lexa's coat, weapons and such were hung on the massive deer antler throne. Lexa wore lose pants, boots, and a loose shirt, much like the men did since the weather permitted it and benefited the woodland clansmen and women better.

Clarke walked around slowly and softly, trying not to disturb Lexa until she herself was ready for Clarke. Whatever this was, Lexa understood and knew of Clarke's presence. In fact, Clarke could have seen Lexa's head twitch up, as if a normal reflex to see who was there, but just put her head back down into her hands.

Clarke cleaned the bed, reputing back on as much as she could, though let the rest of the blanket burn. She lifted the heavy table back up, grunting under the weight of the hard wood. She had seen four men carry the table with hardship and felt happy that her grunts had been fruitful enough to lift it back up. As she tried to pick up the shards of glass, she had cut herself, mummering, "Oww," before plucking the glass shard out of her finger.

She didn't notice Lexa looking up nor walk towards her, while Clarke carefully took out the glass which had left a long but shallow cut. Clarke was surprised by ripping sounds, looking to see Lexa ripping off a small section of her shirt and wrapped it around Clarke's finger. It was a soft and quiet moment.

Clarke had seen Lexa done this enough times to know that Lexa would tell her when she was ready. Clarke saw several different emotions pass over Lexa's face as she tied up the cut. She felt Lexa's fingers softly ghost over her hand and the finger before gently bringing the finger to her lips, kissing it softly.

Clarke sighed softly, looking at her Heda, "You know, you look like a bear when you're mad."

Lexa looked at Clarke softly, guilt eating at her, "You look like a lion."

"I have yet to see a real one. Maybe you can show me one day?"

Lexa bit her lip, looking down, "I'm stupid."

"Did you just realize this?"

Lexa smirked, glancing over at Clarke who could only look at Lexa with love and adoration, "I... I got jealous."

"Over what?"

"I saw you with Bellamy."

"Lexa…"

"I got jealous and wanted to run up to him, claim you as mine in front of everyone… I'm too afraid. You Skaikru aren't afraid. I've seen you publicly show affections… I've been too afraid."

"It's okay Lexa. I'm not interested in him at all and he's interested in Echo, one of the survivors of the mountain."

"…I want to be public."

Clarke looked at Lexa softly, taking a hand and putting it on Lexa's face, tracing it, watching Lexa nod off into her hand and close her eyes, as if at peace, "Don't do something because I want it Lexa. You can take all the time in the world. I can live my life hiding if it'll make you happy."

Before Lexa could reply, Indra called in, "Heda, the generals are here for a meeting. We heard noises and remade a tent with the needed maps and numbers."

"Sha Indra," Lexa called out.

They both heard the woman leave and Lexa looked at Clarke, "Clarke… ai kwin, I love you."

"I love you Lexa. It's okay. Now go talk to your generals. If you want, nobody really knows I'm here. I can slip out of the tent or stay here. Nobody would see me no matter what."

"… I would ask you to stay, much like I need you for my heart to beat… But I would need-"

"Say no more, just get someone to take me to my tent, I'm sure someone's told you, my mother has agreed to let me lead. I'll be returning whenever I can talk to some of your people, if I may, about joining us for hunting and teaching us grounder ways."

"Of course."

The two watched the other before Clarke helped Lexa up, kissing her neck softly, envying her few inch difference yet her power over the others heart was more than enough to satisfy them both.

Lexa walked out of the tent, leaving Clarke by herself. Clarke sighed, looking around the room. Did she want to wait? No. But Lexa deserved happiness, they both did. It was time to stop survive and she wanted to live, live with the woman she loves. Clarke smiled and Clarke put the dagger Lexa had given her onto her throne, kissing it softly as she could only imagine how many hours it took Lexa to make her weapons. Clarke didn't want a chance that someone would see them, and the dagger would have made people think about the alliance as more. The clan leaders knew what and who she was, she no longer needed it yet she knew she would miss it. When a guard came in, Clarke was escorted out, making it seem like a meeting, heading to Octavia.

Octavia was talking to one of the warriors, possibly learning new words to try on Lincoln and Raven, who had fun with the list of things the grounders needed. Lincoln was wounded in the battle, puncturing vital organs. He had limited time left, Octavia making sure every day is better than the last in case he isn't there tomorrow. Octavia smiled at Clarke, "Good morning Wanheda."

"Good morning Octavia. Can you accompany me to the market? I'm thinking about getting a blade."

"It would be an honor," Octavia bowed, mumbling something to the man before walking to Clarke's side. The two walked, small talking about what supplies Clarke and her would need and what to pack for the journey and when to leave. Octavia wanted to leave then or by next morning, however Clarke wanted to leave after that, giving Lexa enough time, as well as give Octavia time with Lincoln.

The moment the two entered the market, flocks of people came to bow and honor Clarke. Many offered gifts, of which Clarke learned that she had to accept. Octavia took each one and put it into a backpack that she carried for such occasions. Many offered blessings, offerings, thanks, their services, and lives for what Clarke had done. Word had spread that Skaikru was the main force to bringing down the mountain while Clarke would argue left and right that it was a truly joint effort.

The weapons section of the market was a sight that both woman enjoyed. The shining weapons and metal always made the girls wonder what these men and women could do. Raven even had a few of them make parts for her radios and various other trinkets. One store vendor was silently napping, his ca over his head while his dog rested, watching. Clarke walked up to the vendor, a simple yet sharp curved dagger was presented. Clarke petted the dog, unafraid of his mean looks when it turned out he was just a big softie.

Clarke cleared her throat, "Excuse me, how much for the dagger?"

The old man, refusing to look up or move a centimeter replied, "Unless you've got meat, furs, or cunt, I won't do business with you."

"What about for Wanheda?" Octavia grumbled, glaring at the man.

The two women smiled as he stumbled out of his chair, removing the cap, and looking at the blonde, who just smiled, "I'm sorry Wanheda. Forgive me."

"It's fine. I will take my business elsewhere." Clarke spoke, putting the dagger back.

"No please, I give fine prices to Wanheda."

"But I can't offer you meat, furs nor my cunt. I will find business elsewhere sir. Mochof."

Clarke walked off. She found a small vendor, a woman who was instructing her son, matching tattoos, on which daggers they were running low on. One of them had a lion's head, with claws grasping at the blade. It was a beautiful piece.

Clarke walked up to the stand, Octavia following. The old woman looked at Clarke smiling, "How can I help you today?"

"Do so many people speak English?" Clarke asked, smiling. The old woman was infectious with her happiness.

"My houmon was a warrior, would only even speak the warrior's language. You were eying the lion's dagger. One of our prized pieces. One of the last ones ai houmon made before he was killed."

"I'm sorry for that. What was his name?"

"Vain, and he was that and so much more."

Clarke laughed, "And what sort of price would you give me for it? I'm sure it's an offley high for a piece that fine."

The boy laughed, cracking his back from his small forging area, "Don't tell me you went to the old man's booth?"

"How'd you know?"

"Well I do have eyes but he's currently trying to convince your friend to take the dagger."

Clarke was watching Octavia, who had left them, arguing with the male merchant, who was crying and bowing over the dagger, as if he was presenting it to a god himself. This happened after the first time a merchant had made rude remarks. Lexa had heard about it and Clarke couldn't stop her from ripping out his tongue. An attack of any kind on her was an attack on the Heda. Clarke went back to the old lady, who was smiling at her even more, "I couldn't afford his prices."

"Well I'll trade you…a promise for the dagger."

Clarke nodded, "I haven't broken a promise yet, it would depend though."

The lady took it down, wrapping a fine leather strap though the scabbard, "Keep our Heda safe with this."

Clarke smiled, closing her eyes before looking at them both, "I will do just that. Please, accept anything the people have given me from this backpack. It's the least I can do."

The woman looked in the backpack, "Oh I can't do that- Metal! Gret, we can use that! May I?"

Clarke chuckled, "Take what you need and want. What's mine is yours."

By the end, Clarke walked off with not only the dagger but two swords, duel swords that matched the light design of the dagger, but much simpler. It was functional and it would do Clarke some good to get swords when her gun would run out of bullets. The old lady had taken a good amount, talking to mostly herself, her son went back to work, about why they needed each item. Clarke was happy and as she walked back to the tents, Octavia even traded some dried meats for an old medic's guide for Raven. Clarke had been watching how Raven and her mother had gotten along, with Octavia and Clarke herself trying to push the mechanic to act on her feelings.

When they arrived back at Clarke's tent, Lexa was waiting for her by the tent. Clarke knew the drill, immediately starting to head for inside the tent. However, Lexa called out, "Clarke…"

Clarke stopped, turning to the woman, "Heda, is there something you need?"

Lexa looked at Clarke, mostly at the newly added additions before releasing a deep breath, "Why did you give me back the knife? Was it not good for you?"

Clarke shook her head, "No Heda, I thought it was understood that I'm under your protection. By now, most people would know," at this Clarke whispered softly, so nobody could hear, "And it would stop sending messages that you 'favor' me, that way it still remains hidden."

Clarke watched as Lexa's facial expressions changed. It was easy for Clarke to read Lexa, one of the many things that set Clarke apart from every other person. Sometimes she feels a connection to Costia, as if she herself approved of her loving Lexa and how she cared for the leader, the woman who had stolen her heart. Lexa looked less confused, understanding then saddened. And once more, the moment was stopped by Octavia speaking, "Clarke, Bellamy is walking near."

Clarke turned to Octavia, "Tell him I'll be there in a minute."

Octavia bowed before walking off. Lexa looked at Clarke, "Klark…"

Clarke swore that her heart cracked and swooned all at the same time over one word. Lexa looked broken, fighting between her heart and her head. Clarke mouthed _I love you_ to the girl but speaking softly, "I'll be seeing you later tonight maybe?"

"Always… When do you plan to leave?" Lexa asked, at the question standing straighter and more like Heda.

"I was thinking as late as I can but I've heard some rumors that you are missed at Polis. I think you've been stalling enough with the whole leadership dilemma. I can leave as early as tonight or tomorrow morning at first light."

"Stay."

Clarke watched as Lexa broke through the Heda mask, silently letting her emotions flow out of her, "You are more than welcome to visit me whenever you wish Heda. I will see what Bellamy wants. He might even want to leave now, he looks ready to go with me, not without me. It'll take a few to pack if it does happen but if so, I'll send Octavia with word so you can know."

Lexa nodded, Heda mask back on before slowly walking away. Clarke watched her, even moving to the side to catch even a few more seconds of the glorious and strong leader of the Trikru. She figured it would be the last look she got of the woman if Bellamy wanted to leave early.

It was true that Lexa was needed at Polis, she was needed a month ago for help with dispersing grain and food for winter. Including raising more men and women to fight in her army and patrols.

Clarke walked over to Bellamy, "What's going on?"

"Nothing, wanted to know if I could join you on the way back? They wanted me back with you no matter what," Bellamy answered, shrugging, "Someone oddly sent me to your tent. These two women were already packing up your tent. They were almost done by the time I left to talk to you."

Clarke's heart dropped. Of course, Lexa would tell the girls to pack Clarke up. Clarke nodded, "Of course. You both can go see about getting three horses. I'll go notify Lexa."

The siblings nodded before heading off to the stables. As Clarke walked, she noticed that there was a heavy presence of guards at Lexa's tent, a tell-tale sign that there was an important meeting. Clarke walked into a nearby tent, asking for charcoal and paper. One warrior was more than happy to oblige, giving her paper and a working pen.

Clarke wrote Lexa a note, one that would be secretive enough that prying eyes wouldn't understand but that Lexa would.

 _Dear Heda,_

 _Bellamy, Octavia, and I have enjoyed both the company of grounders and friends alike. It is another way you have shown us of both Trikru hospitality and loyalty. I hoped to have talked to you before leaving but pressing matters were shown and a letter seemed to be quicker. Thank you for everything. Visit us in Arkadia and you'll be welcomed as both Heda and our greatest ally. May we meet again, Skai Prisa Clarke kom Skaikru._

She left the note with Indra, who was left outside. When Indra offered to immediately go in, Clarke spoke softly, asking for whenever Lexa was done and not busy to hand her the note. Indra nodded, wishing Clarke safe travels and to keep her Second safe from doing anything stupid.

Clarke walked to the stables, saying good bye to several hunters and warriors, even being asked by them if they could join her group to teach the Skaikru how to live and hunt. By the time Clarke was saddled and ready to go, they had 16 warriors and 12 hunters ready to live with them and engross their culture into that of the sky people. As Clarke and her group rode out of Ton DC, Clarke took a last look. A feeling that overwhelmed her. There were people running after her. Clarke stopped her horse, the other 30 or so people stopping as well. There were common people, some merchants, guards, even Indra running after her.

Clarke rode to them, closing the distance faster than they could and got off the horse. She looked at Indra first, "Is everything all right? Is the Commander hurt?"

For a second Indra wanted to say something but she nodded, "Yes, she needs your help. She's bleeding. An assassin attacked, it was a false meeting."

Clarke nodded, fast walking and sprinting to Heda's tent. Before she reached it, she was hit with a body. It was familiar and the only reason Clarke didn't push them off was because she immediately knew it was Lexa. Lexa looked like she was crying, weak but smiling at the girl. Clarke was looking over Lexa, "Heda, who attacked you? Where is the wound?"

Lexa immediately looked confused, looking at Indra, who was shyly walking away before taking Clarke's hand and putting it over her heart, "It hurts here."

"Oh Lexa… You can visit me whenever you want," Clarke spoke softly, trying to convey her love, and speak silently to Lexa. Silently pleading her to understand how much she loved the woman but wasn't allowed to show it.

But Lexa read it and read it well. Lexa shook her head, "No, no more hiding. Ai hod yu in Klark kom Skaikru."

Lexa leaned in, holding Clarke close as she kissed her. Clarke didn't care, every wall she had built up for the past months crumbled under the words and touch of her lover. Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa's neck, deepening the kiss. She was happy, heart fluttering and she felt like she was back up in space, falling once more without the pod or the ar. Just freefalling, knowing she would be safer on the ground in the arms of Lexa, the Commander of her heart.

When they pulled apart, Clarke immediately put her face in Lexa's neck, mumbling, "I'm going to miss you Lexa. Promise me you'll visit at some point."

"You couldn't keep me away from you for so long kwin," Lexa replied, nuzzling into Clark's hair. "In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if you all relocated near Polis."

"Uh huh, and why is that?"

"Since your people are your family, it is traditional for the family to move with the betrothed to her lover's home."

Clarke smiled softly, chuckling, "Don't make promises you can't keep Commander."

"This is one I will gladly keep."

"I'm not arguing here with you, we can talk about this later. You have to lead your people, not worry about some blonde-haired girl."

"Blonde haired beauty."

"Octavia is spending way too much time with you."

Clarke could notice screams and yells, pulling away softly to see the crowd that had joined them, the beaming and happy looks in their eyes, and a few of the ambassadors to various clans watching. But Clarke didn't pull away, instead she kissed her Heda softly before looking at her green forest eyes, "I have to go Lexa."

Lexa nodded, taking Clarke's hand, and kissing the palm of it, before putting it over her heart, "You have this with you, take care of it."

Clarke did the same, putting Lexa's hand on her heart, however she took off her father's watch, which she was able to trade furs for some batteries for Raven and got it fixed, and placed it on Lexa's arm, "As you carry mine with you. May we meet again my strong bear."

Very few words would turn the strong leader of 13 clans weak, hearing her lover compare her to that of a bear, a strong symbol to the Trikru, made her stand taller and head held higher of being recorded in such a light. She watched Clarke walk backwards, turning around when she knew she wouldn't leave if she didn't.

Lexa stood there, swearing that even after she lost sight of the blonde, she could feel the winds pick up, helping her relieve the lasting scents and memories of her other half.

When she opened her eyes, the people around her smiled, glad that their Heda had finally opened, happy again. The leaders all smiled as well. Heda was strong, Wanheda was strong, and together the world would finally change. Love is strength. Love is life. Love is love.


End file.
